Love at First Sight, a Netflix film written by Katie Lovejoy, based upon the 2011 novel “The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight” by Jennifer E. Smith, narrates the heartwarming story of two young and promising members of society; the dependence of their relationship on fate; and outstanding cases of the “right place, right time”, indicating that love and relationships sparked by chance, coincidences, or idyllic crushes, are not only product of a little girl’s fantasy but a possibility, according to statistics. What this film does not cover, though, is (ironically) the unerring statistical probability of love at first sight: plenty of data shows percentages about lasting marriages, the chances of succeeding in love (oh, hail the power of love!), and the improbability of their multiple reunions across The Big Smoke is indeed covered. One would assume that to conclude, the supporting statistical data for this relevant inquiry would be disclosed since the characters mention it multiple times. However, it is not. Hence, the question arises: what is the actual probability of love at first sight?
Most of the time, love is a game of pure numbers. As a matter of fact, the chances of finding true love, if it’s left up to fate, are 1 in 562, or .177% to be exact. Meeting our significant other has always been one of the most sought-after and untiring goals in modern societies. Picture this scenario: you’re standing in a packed room, and then, all of a sudden, you lay eyes on someone appealing. The world starts spinning, as does your head and reasoning capabilities. Whether you decide to strike up a conversation with that person or not, this is what multimedia sells us as love at first sight. Most of the time, the person with whom we establish a bond based on this phenomenon does not turn out to be the exact way we imagined. Being stuck in the moment will cause feelings of attraction for the other person to grow exponentially. According to scientists, the momentaneous feeling of alleged love relates more to infatuation. Dr Robert Sternberg, an American psychologist and psychometrician, also a Professor at Cornell University, states in his Triangular Theory of Love, that “love at first sight based on infatuation and (supposed) instant attraction to a person, covers only one of three key elements vital for any healthy, worthwhile relationship: passion” (Cleveland Clinic, 2023). These three essential components must be present for a romantic connection to succeed and be deserving of the name love. They demand care, and in conjunction with intimacy and commitment, the other two components of the theory, make a successful relationship worthwhile. These two latter principles are vital as they involve emotional stability, trust, effective communication, bonding, and a sense of fulfilment, among other things. Thus, a romantic connection must include these three elements to be categorized as a loving, prosperous relationship.
Only 27% of people take the chance to develop a relationship, or at least attempt to, based on situational coincidences and stolen glances, as the movie depicts. For instance, in the case of people aged 18-29, over 50% of them typically figure out they want to go out on a second date just after a few minutes of talking to them. Additionally, around 14% of those young people referred to their friends for approval on their continuance decision. So it takes much more than just momentaneous passion. This further emphasizes the idea that what many couples claim to be love at first sight is actually a thorough process. The most beautiful way in which one can build a relationship is to be mindful of the attraction we feel towards someone, pay attention to it, and, instead of rushing in and letting anxiety kick in, start the process of getting to know the person in a more confidential and intimate note.
True and supportive love takes time, awareness, caring, and nurturing. Consider it like a blossom that will grow into one of the most stunning flowers you have ever seen with caring, watering, nurturing and sun exposure. However, if you try to depend on the power of a spark and spontaneous energy, that flower will not bloom at all. In spite of the aforementioned, it is imperative to acknowledge the importance of such a process. Experiencing these feelings of instant attraction, idealized romanticism, and going head over heels for someone is also part of life.
60%. That is the percentage of the number of people that experience the phenomenon of love at first sight, or, better said, misunderstood and idealized infatuation. So, no one would be a stranger to society if they happened to experience it. One can follow our necessary love path and achieve the so sought-after feeling of fulfilment by being mindful, conscious, and patient. The sudden spark that we experience when we lock eyes with someone whom we find attractive is a product of good fortune and possibilities. However, anyone who goes through this should carry on in their search for love, because it is built with small actions and minute details, and ought to be preserved and nurtured every day of our lives. Just remember that when you meet that special someone with whom you may spend the rest of your life, opportunities will come your way once.
Comprising the magnitude of a term such as love is a difficult task to execute. After all, these numbers make sense of what we have on our hands. Although science has tried to constrict love and its related terminologies in one closed mathematical, statistical, and logical space, it is an unlikely feat. It is impossible to decipher such an improbable force through statistics and less in a logical way of probability. The events that one action, a single remark, a declaration of love, or even the slightest misinterpretation can have on the course of events in a relationship are beyond mathematical reasoning and further away from a simple linguistic concept, as they depend on the individuality of our own decisions.
It’s all numbers. As with everything else in life. But we can’t let that define our fate. We wouldn’t be human if we did. Let’s keep looking for our idyllic love, restlessly, no matter what the chances are.
The Raccoon Gazette 